Evanescence

If we can relive yesterday once more
If we can escape this dystopian fate
Could it be too little too late?

Faded copies of a make-believe passion
You and I against the evanescence
Strangers that got left behind in this disintegration

Misconstrued words and a weary heart
Quivering shadows of our former selves
We let it all slip away, through these wounded hands

Love

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilised races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

- The Devil's Dictionary

Earth

Have you seen the stars lately?
Barely twinkling, fighting for an eye-blink's remembrance.
I held my breath each time;
I fear this fluorescent dream may cease someday.

You walk with such haste, mister.
Is there somewhere you are going?
Is there someone I can speak to?
Amidst the urban chaos, and civil madness.

You are not turning pages in this avant-garde fiction.
We've all turned electric, but the clock is still ticking.
Can someone save this fable before the apocalypse?
The prince never came, and the princess never woke.

My future is bleak.
I'm running on empty.
Perhaps someday,
Someday I would be born again.

Nikon FM2N x Cross Process

I've only owned one DSLR in my life (so far) but plenty of manual cameras. One of my favourite is Nikon FM2N. It is rather easy to use with plenty of control and it has given me good results. It works best with black and white film in my opinion. Or at least the best results I've gotten have been from black and white film. Previously I cross processed most of my slides when using lo-fi cameras. My favourite lo-fi camera has got to be Lomo LC-A+. This is the first time I cross processed my slides that were taken on my FM2N. To be honest, it wasn't intentional. The lab that I use in London can only cross process slides in C-41 chemical. They can't process slides in E-6, which is rather daft. There are several economical labs I could use if I mail my slides out but I don't really trust Royal Mail, they've lost my mail countless times. So I usually go to West End Cameras close to Warren St tube in London to process my films. They are not the cheapest, and definitely not the best. In fact, I kind of dislike the processing done here in London. When I was living in Hong Kong for three years, I had the best results from all my slides I think partly because the lab I used has very consistent results. And they were so cheap. I used a lab on Wyndham St in Central Hong Kong, but I can't remember the name of the shop, could be Miramar or something.

Anyway, the other day I found four rolls of slides that were lying in my cabinet for over a year. I was travelling so much most of 2011 and the beginning of 2012 that I completely forgot about these undeveloped slides. Well, the truth is I'm perpetually travelling most of the time so I have like a thousand overdue errands. These two months I get to take a break in London so I finally got a chance to drop by Warren St to get my slides processed.

I didn't get fancy results or anything that I love but here are some shots of it. I think I'll probably stick to black and white for my Nikon FM2N until I find a better lab. I'm moving to Maryland in United States in a few months time and I've been trying to find information on good labs in the area or in Washington DC but so far it's been depressing.

You can view the entire album on Flickr.

Jason Russell's Naked Meltdown

Have you not heard? Kony 2012's director, Jason Russell, had a meltdown and was arrested after several onlookers reported to the police that a man was seen running around only in his underwear screaming and touching himself. The San Diego police department said that he was behaving very strangely and possibly under the influence of something - alcohol probably.

Telegraph reported that CEO of Invisible Children later said in a statement, "Jason Russell was unfortunately hospitalised yesterday suffering from exhaustion, dehydration and malnutrition. He is now receiving medical care and focused on getting better." From the Guardian, Russell's wife Danica also issued a statement to American TV network NBC, "We thought a few thousand people would see the film, but in less than a week millions of people around the world saw it. While that attention was great for raising awareness about Joseph Kony, it also brought a lot of attention to Jason. And, because of how personal the film is, many of the attacks against it were also very personal, and Jason took them very hard."

So my question is, why did Jason make this video so personal then? I am sorry to say that he should have expected criticisms will be directed AT him since this video was made seemingly to come from HIS point of view, whether or not that may be true. And the inclusion of his kid and many personal moments did not help at all. It was very unnecessary if you ask me.

Nevertheless, I do feel sorry for Russell. At first impression I was almost certain his meltdown was merely an effect from drug abuse or intoxication, but someone told me a person with bipolar can behave like that with or without knowledge of what he had done. So it could be genuine that he was under stress and had a meltdown.

But from a NGO's perspective, as the face of the organisation Invisible Children, his antics were highly unacceptable. If he is a person who would be sensitive to criticisms then he should've think twice before becoming the face of Invisible Children, and definitely think twice before making the video so personal. Whether his behaviour was intentional or not, he has undoubtedly ruined the image of Invisible Children. People may argue, Jason Russell has nothing to do with the cause, people should support the cause and not be affected by this. First of all, the cause is not even fully supported by the local Ugandan people. If you have not heard, the subsequent screenings of Kony 2012 were cancelled because of ill reception at its first screening in Uganda. The viewers were so furious they started throwing rocks and refused to keep watching. You can read more about it with National Post. Secondly, whether you like it or not, as a representative of an organisation, you have to uphold a certain image, and if you failed at that, people will not take you or the organisation seriously. That is the cruel side of the reality and the wonders of public relations.

And if you haven't seen the famous/infamous Kony 2012 film, the video in my previous blog post here.

The "KONY 2012" Hype

The KONY 2012 video had been getting loads of social media attention, a little too much that it's starting to get annoying. Well, I have to say, for most part, the video is well produced, but that may be another whole new problem. The first thing I could think of is, how much money had been spent on this? We all know that many NGOs require funds to keep on going and they try to reach out to public the best they could. These recent years, social media has no doubt helped in many ways in that aspect. But how much do we actually know about these NGOs?

In just a couple of days, more than 20 million people have viewed the video KONY 2012 made by an American charity organisation - Invisible Children. The video is about the plight of children in Uganda being abducted and forced to be child soldiers by a guerilla group called LRA (Lords Resistance Army) led by its leader Joseph Kony. His group has allegedly abducted more than 30,000 children. Invisible Children had in reality been condemned several times. Last year, they spent $8,676,614. Only 32% went to direct services, with much of the rest going to staff salaries, travel and transport, and film production. They haven't had their finances externally audited, does that sound dodgy or what?

Whilst the video had its touching moments, it also annoyed me in some ways. Why oh why does this man - Jason Russell - had to include his kid (Gavin) in the video? What is the purpose of that? We could see that Gavin is incredibly adorable but it served no purpose except making it seemed like the story was coming from one man's point of view. And this one man, Jason Russell, is the hero. He started this campaign, and he's going to end the war. Oh and he is coincidentally an American. This may seem generic but for years, Hollywood has always been making movies in which one hero saves the world. You can't blame people for thinking that is somewhat an American culture. In university, I took a course in Cultural Management, and America was a hot topic in Individualism. My professor reiterated my thoughts that Americans like the idea of one man saving the day, i.e. Superman, Barack Obama, etc. In case you think this is some bias argument, my professor happens to be American himself. The video began shortly with Gavin (his kid) being born to the world at the hospital. How personal is that? It was sweet, but unnecessary for a video about an Ugandan warlord. The tipping point of annoyance came when Gavin said he wanted to be like his dad when he grew up, he wanted to go Africa with him. I can see how proud Jason Russell is of his work, but this is getting somewhat egotistical.

An Ugandan journalist, Rosebell Kagumire posted a response to the video on YouTube. She said that the current situation in Uganda is very different from what was portrayed in the KONY 2012 Video. The abduction and the killing were more prominent in 2005 but right now, the war is about something else, not just Joseph Kony, who isn't even in Uganda anymore for 6 years now.

Social media is fun and a fast way to share information. Clicking share on FaceBook requires no effort at all, and its amazing how Invisible Children managed to reach out to people in such a short period of time. Their marketing and PR skills is indeed commendable, that is no surprise considering how much of their funds go to that sort of thing. But before people start getting too much into it, perhaps it's wise to do your own research and find out what is the real situation. The wars in Africa are not so simple. It does not end because of one hero, and certainly does not end with capturing Joseph Kony, although it would be wonderful to see that sick bastard get arrested. As long as there still are diamonds and oil fields in Africa, corruption and colonialism will go on. Some other warlord will rise again. I'm not saying that we should give up and sit back watching the terror going on outside our PC world. For a start, you could help by understanding the real situation in Uganda and conveying accurate information to others.

Not your average girl, I don't meet the standards of this world.

The need to conform to society's standards deplores me in a way I cannot vocalise. How and when was it decided a certain behaviour is the only acceptable one in this civilisation? Who was the one to set the standards?

When people look upon me as an outcast, am I suppose to accept that I am one? Would it be remotely possible to repudiate? Would a singular person be strong enough to stand against the majority and declare that they are incorrect?

When lovers get into fights, how is it okay that one person can allegedly judge the other and depose her of any right to stand up for herself? How did his very own standard become an universal standard just because that is the one thing he has known his entire life? She may not be right, but why is he so sure that he is?

I don't like writing about all the bad things that are going on because that is not acceptable in this society. We are made to look like happy creatures bustling with endless positivity all the time. There are tons of books published to educate people the only way to attain happiness is to pretend you are happy and eventually believing in it. So this negativity that I possess is forbidden. It is a secret and a ramification I have to bear.

Will you despise me if you know me better? I think you will.
It is a sad sad day and no one cares.
It is an apathetic day and everyone cries.

Last of the Seven Wonders

Where I've been lately...

Living the life.